Letters to Ann

Dear Ann,

It has been a very sad week & particularly a sad day today as we said farewell to my brother in law John in Forster. My niece Michelle, phoned me a week ago to let me know he had been taken to hospital very ill. I was in tears as I loved John deeply.

John had been on dialysis three times a week that had been taking seven hours a day by the time he was picked up, had the procedure & arrived back home again. It got to the stage that he was only living the in between days to get enough strength for the next session the following day.

It was his decision to go off dialysis. He had given up the fight & knowing what a positive person he was, that decision would not have been made lightly. It seems he had lost the will to live as the quality of life was no longer there.

My niece Kassandra notified me soon after his passing last Wednesday, 27th July – more tears.

I had asked David if he would come to the funeral with me & drive me to Forster, which is a good two hours away. He kindly arranged to pick me up this morning at 9.15 a.m. I was ready & waiting & got a most wonderful surprise.

As David was coming towards me he was saying he knew that I am used to sitting in the back seat, so I naturally thought Lauren had decided to go to the funeral as well. However, when I got to the front seat my sister, Kim, stood up before me.

That did it. I had been feeling very vulnerable all week & when I saw her standing in front of me I could only say “Oh Kim how wonderful to see you.”  Tears were not far away as we hugged each other very meaningfully.

It was such a beautiful surprise. She had flown over from Tassie the previous day & stayed with David & Lauren last night.

But my surprise did not end there. As we drove off I remarked that Joice would be surprised to see her too, but David said he didn’t think so because Joice had been in touch with Kim asking her if she would conduct the funeral service for John.

Kim, Joice, Dawn, Michelle and Dianne after the funeral.

As you know, she has been a lay preacher with sixty years of experience so who else would be better than our Kim for this most important service. It could not be more ideal & I admire her strength in being able to do what she did today for Joice & John. She did it so well & no one could have done it better. I am just so proud of her.

The service commenced with Amazing Grace being sung by Nana Mouskouri & that really did it. I can never hear that without it causing me great emotion & particularly as it was for John.

It was no better when the hymn How Great Thou Art was also sung – these are my two favourite hymns which cracks me up & were sung beautifully. I was taking some deep breaths from the start of the service!

Kim had mentioned a lot about John’s life in her foreword, which she followed with the Bible reading in Corinthians about love. This was followed by tributes to John by his daughter, Christine & son, Andrew that were lovingly made.

However, when John’s step-daughter Michelle got up to make a tribute, my heart went out to her as she was so emotional. I said a little prayer that God would give her strength to continue. She was absolutely wonderful as she told at length of all the attributes which John possessed during his lifetime; how much he was loved; & the great respect & admiration we all had for him. I was also very proud of my loving niece.

Joice gave the Eulogy herself saying how her son -in- law Stephen, Kassandra’s husband, had often said how resilient she is & she felt that as John’s wife she knew him better than anyone else & should carry out this task.

Joice and John’s wedding with John, Joice, Dawn and Max, 1980.

Stephen is not wrong as she certainly is a very strong lady. With only a very short emotional stumble to begin with she gave the most magnificent eulogy ever. What hadn’t been said at this stage of the proceedings about John’s life was said by Joice.

She spoke very firmly all the way through telling of John’s earlier life when at the age of fourteen he made himself a home out of huge pipes that he lived in for a couple of years when working in the rural part of England where he was taken by the Government during World War II as a child to live & get away from the bombs.

She told how he later got a job as a postman, but because he couldn’t read as his schooling had been interrupted by the war when his school was bombed, he went to night school for the next seven years.

Then she told how he was so bright that he attained his degree as a first class hydraulic engineer: a career that had always interested him.

Joice brought into her tribute John’s first marriage with Rose & the five children they had & how they had emigrated to Australia.

Nothing was missed out. She spoke at length very strongly & firmly. I admired her more than I can say & I am so very proud of my little sister.

After Joice’s wonderful eulogy, we watched a video of excerpts from John’s life to the tune of ‘Memories.‘  I don’t think any friend or family were omitted . This in itself was wonderful too.

Dianne, a very close & valued friend of Joice & John, then gave a short talk finishing with a lovely poem.

The service closed with The Lord’s Prayer & the Committal. As John was taken from the packed church to the tune of ‘We’ll Meet Again‘ sung by Vera Lynn there were not many dry eyes.

Joice, John and Dawn in 2011

He was one of the most positive people I have ever met. With each setback in his later years – when he had bowel cancer, a double heart bypass & prostate cancer – he would be planning what project he would next work on when he recovered.

John Manthorpe was every good thing a man could be: a loving father; partner and kind, caring, thoughtful, patient, sharp witted, gentle & indeed a Gentleman’s Gentleman.

He was loved by all & we are the richer for having him with us.

May God Bless you & you have my love. Dawn X O X O